The controversial truth is that most people who want to hide money in a divorce actually succeed—at least for a while. It’s a bitter pill. Lawyers like to talk about “transparency” and “fiduciary duties,” but in the real world? Some people are just incredibly good at being dishonest.
Greed does strange things. I’ve seen it for twenty years. People think they’re entitled. They start moving numbers around. It’s a mess.
Just because it’s illegal…
Doesn’t mean they won’t try it. Honestly, it happens more than you’d think. People assume the court has some magic X-ray vision to see into every offshore account or under every mattress, but that’s just not how the system works. The system relies on disclosure. If one party decides to play dirty, the burden often shifts to you to find the breadcrumbs. It’s exhausting.
Wait, I should clarify—I’m talking about “marital assets” here. Anything earned during the marriage. If your spouse is funneling their paycheck into a secret PayPal or “loaning” $20,000 to a sibling with a wink and a nod, they are breaking the law. But catching them? That’s where the rubber meets the road.
The “friend” loan trick
Classic move. Your spouse suddenly discovers they owe their best friend a massive debt from 1998. They write a check. The friend “holds” the money until the divorce is final. It’s transparently fake. Yet, it happens.
Deferred raises and bonuses
Workplace shell games are common. A spouse might ask their boss to hold off on a promotion. Or delay a year-end bonus until January. This keeps the money off the current balance sheet. Ugh. It makes my blood boil when companies actually help them do it.
I once had a case where a guy—actually, let me stay on track. The point is, if the income doesn’t show up on the W-2 during the discovery phase, it’s easy to overlook. You have to look at the history. Did the bonus always come in December for the last five years? If it suddenly stopped, someone is probably lying.
Crypto is the new mattress
Digital wallets are a nightmare. Ten years ago, we looked for cash. Now, we look for private keys and Kraken accounts. If your spouse was never into tech and suddenly starts talking about “the blockchain,” you have a problem.
Actually, crypto is easier to track than people think because of the ledger, but you need a forensic accountant who knows their stuff. It’s expensive. Is it worth spending $5,000 to find $7,000? Probably not. You have to pick your battles. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on.
Business owners playing games
This is the big one. If your spouse owns a business, they have a million ways to hide value. They might pay “ghost employees” who don’t exist. They might buy personal items—like a new jet ski—and call it a “company vehicle” for marketing purposes.
- Reducing the reported net income.
- Paying personal credit cards through the business.
- Delaying new contracts until the ink is dry on the divorce.
- Understating the value of inventory or equipment.
It’s all just smoke and mirrors. A seasoned professional can usually see through it, but it takes time. Lots of time. And money. Did I mention it’s expensive? Because it is.
What you can actually do
Stay alert. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand. If you see a weird withdrawal on a joint statement, take a picture of it immediately. Once you move out, that paper trail might get a lot harder to follow.
~~You should probably hire a private investigator.~~ (Note: PIs are usually a waste of money for finances; stick to the bank records.)
Look for the “redundant” patterns. If they are buying the same groceries twice at different stores, maybe they’re stocking a second apartment. If they are suddenly “losing” money at the casino, check the markers. People get sloppy. They always get sloppy eventually.
The final reckoning
At the end of the day, the court doesn’t take kindly to being lied to. If a judge finds out your spouse was hiding a Swiss account, they might award you the entire account as a penalty. It’s a high-risk, low-reward game for them.
But you have to prove it. You can’t just walk in and say “I have a feeling.” Feelings don’t divide bank accounts; evidence does. Keep your eyes open, stay calm, and don’t let them gaslight you into thinking you’re crazy for noticing the missing zeros.
Handwritten-style note: Check the 401k loans! People forget those can be used to siphon cash right before filing.